At The Cat and The Fiddle, we have super simple rules, and try to always be consistent with children, so the expectations are clearly understood.

1. Be safe with yourself and others.

2. Be kind to others.

3. Be safe with our toys and space.

Our ultimate goal is to make sure our program is a safe place for all. We don’t allow hurtful behavior to persist, whether it be physical: hitting, pushing, biting; or emotional: excluding other children, or name-calling. We are constantly working to create a safe space for all children. We believe that children are just beginning to learn their limits, and our job as parents and teachers is to help them find appropriate boundaries. This doesn’t mean that they won’t stumble, or that we as adults will always have the perfect solution. But often, there can be some simple solutions to what is happening. Perhaps they are tired, hungry, stressed out, or just need some extra attention. We always start with undesirable behavior by talking to the children, and if needed, we remove them from the situation. We do not call it “time-out” … we truly want the child to get their needs met, and “time-out” is often creating the opposite result. We do not want to push away children when they need us the most. Often, “time-in” would be more appropriate explanation for what a child truly needs in the most difficult moments. We will often sit closely and hold a child when they are upset and talk about what they are feeling in that moment. We do offer kids a place to freely go “be by myself” if they chose to have a little down time before they can calmly talk about their feelings and help us problem solve together.

To help children understand the desirable behaviors that are expected of them, we follow a system of “Red and Green Choices”. We talk about these choices at Circle Time and use visual aids to reinforce appropriate and inappropriate actions. We encourage Green Choices through positive reinforcement using our Green Choice sticker reward charts. Each child has their own unique challenges and behaviors that we are working to improve. We communicate consistently to each child, so they understand what they need to work on and how they can earn a reward sticker. Once a child earns 10 stickers they can pick a prize from our Prize Box. They LOVE this!!

 

Conflict Resolution

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Like any skill or ability that we would like young children to master, social skills develop over time and on an individual arc of development. A child cannot master a skill before they are ready. As adults, we are tasked with scaffolding their emerging social skills. Through naturally-occurring opportunities, we can best support children in developing conflict resolution skills. Luckily, the preschool years are a rich breeding ground for these “naturally occurring opportunities” for conflict resolution. We take the following steps to conflict resolution:

1. Take the hand of the child who is hurt and go find the other child. Hold the hand of the other child and say, “Emily, tell Julie how you feel.” Then, “Julie, tell Emily how you feel.” Now, do it again – they always have more to say. Do not interrupt the children and do not put words into their mouths. You want them to develop skills to communicate.

2. Next, say to each child, “Anything else?” Provide ample time for each child to respond. If one child interrupts, very calmly respond, “Emily isn’t through.”

3. “Give me three solutions? How can we solve this problem? How could this be different?” This sounds very sophisticated for little kids, but you would be surprised at how quickly they get the idea when adults are supportive. Sometimes a child’s solution will be punitive like, “Well, I could hit her!” At this point, without raising your voice, you say, “That’s not an acceptable solution.” Always go for three solutions.

If a certain behavior or issue has become a concern, we will have a group meeting and work with the children to come up with solutions together.